Untangle ME: Story talk
a bit of background on this
I had for a long time the idea to be something like a Manga artist that write his own stories as well so a Mangka if you will… why Manga? I liked the from factor more of the books and the black and white can give you al kinds of dramatic effect what a color page can’t do. since you would expect it to be more realistic. jet all rules can be broken of course..
but after years, of working on all kinds of stories and world building did I never ever finish one single one story… the beginning stages felt fun and adventures , mysterious like what is going on here. what will happen.
however once I start to actually try to make one as a final version. did I start to feel like I did not know enough, it needed to be better. but what it really was and that took me some time to figure out was. I was trying to hide from a world I didn’t like. and me having to look at publishers, or ways to self publish. dealing with budgets and selling things. I didn’t what anything to do with that… so I did what I did best flee to the next image world so I didn’t have to deal with this one.
but at a curtain point once I started to figure out this pattern and was more involved with being mindful with your self. and do not forget my body basically shutting down. since I was not living in this world any way. did I drop it al down. and said I need do something else with my life. this was a painful decision. I felt that I sacrificed so much to become this potential Manga artist… but I had to face it I would never be one, it was just a escape for me that have gotten out of hand.
but since I did a lot of self reflection later on did I want so look if me looking back at my own work. will it have a message for me? did it tell me something to my self I could not see back then.
I mean even do I did not had a healthy relation with my desire to be a manga artist. it did break my scepticism for a brief moment, to be more open minded about spiritual stuff. just so I could apply it in a world I were I would be a real thing. but that opent up a path were I would find a way out of me unconscious struggle. were I was droning in self hate, and hate for the world, in a sense of powerlessness and anger,